Friday, January 30, 2009

The Battle of the Bed

Our first child is working hard to make certain that she will be our only child.

My husband was horrified when I said, about a month ago, that I was no longer on board with whole 2-kids idea. But last night may have changed that, however incrementally.

Ever since we made the trek to the West Coast for a week, Annika's sleep schedule has been unpredictable and incoherent. She went from waking once a night, about 2/3 of the time, and going back to sleep readily... to waking multiple times a night, every night, and going back to sleep only after being awake (and crying) for quite a while. There is a world of difference between the first state and the second.

The one is tolerable, almost pleasant. The other makes me a walking heap of disturbingly negative thoughts and barely-suppressed rage. I don't sleep well with a baby next to me, and I've had a baby next to me for significant parts of the night, the last few nights. Last night, my nurturing instincts finally short-circuited and I dumped the child in her crib, told my husband he could take over or leave the baby screaming as he chose, and put earplugs in my ears. Heroic husband spent nearly all night trying to get that creature to sleep: bottles, rocking, sleeping next to her on the spare mattress. She thanked him by kicking him in the nuts and pulling his hair.

I know that this is temporary, that it won't last forever. My rational mind knows that. My emotions haven't gotten the memo. Rational doesn't help. Even knowing that the phase she's going through is normal doesn't help.

But we have 2 nights of baby-free sleep ahead of us (thanks to my wonderful parents!), and that will most certainly help.